To Be or Not to Be: Strengthening Your Verbs
By
Susan Guadagno
© 2001
I'll admit, I abhor when any craft "rule" is taken to the extreme. So, in that philosophy, I won't tell you to eradicate every occurrence of 'to be' (am, are, is, was, were, be, been, being), or had and have, in your work.
There are times when you need them. They exist in our language for a reason.
That said, however, I urge you to evaluate each and every one and make a conscious decision regarding it.
Weak verbs dilute your work. There's a reason the 'to be' verbs are considered passive. (Notice I didn't say "are passive voice," which is another issue, albeit a related one.)
Read this passage: It was a sunny, summer day when he saw her for the first time, having fallen at her feet, literally. She was pretty. She had shoulder-length blond hair and sky-blue eyes that had concern in them when she bent over him.
Now this: He peered up at her from the sidewalk. The summer sun created fiery highlights in her shoulder-length, corn-silk hair. Her sky-blue eyes filled with clearly-evident concern as she bent over him.
(This also changes it from telling to showing, but that's another article.)
Sometimes all you need to do to strengthen your words is remove the helping verb and change the ending:
He was hoping to see her.
He hoped to see her.
She was running the store.
She ran the store.
Other times, choosing a more vivid verb will strengthen your writing. "Seize the day" evokes a far stronger response than "get the day." Consider the differences in the images presented in the following sentences:
He walked across the parking lot.
He strode across the parking lot.
He staggered across the parking lot.
He slunk across the parking lot.
Changing one word makes a big difference, doesn't it?
So weigh each one carefully when you edit your work. Seize control of your verbs; make them strong ones.